


Whiskey, Scotch and Other Things We Don't Need

by MessofaNess



Category: Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, F/M, Multiple Universes, Portals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6673105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MessofaNess/pseuds/MessofaNess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony falls through into our world and is found by a regular working girl. She juggles work and Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Not Drunk, Just Lost

Cliona Fear never thought that she would find a man who looked so like Robert Downey Jr. it was scary, in the gutter. Well to be more exact he was passed out, his face busted up a bit, behind the trash can for her town home. She sighed and looked around as if wondering if she would be judged for leaving him there. Finding that there was no way she would be okay with herself if she didn’t help him she let out a sigh once more. Balancing on the balls of her feet, sitting on her heels so that she wouldn’t fall, she began her attempt at waking the drunk.  

“Hey…” She spoke gently her hand reaching out to touch his shoulder.

“Pepper… Just a little longer.”

Cliona looked very confused at this comment. “Sir, come on, you’re drunk lets get you up and get some coffee in you.”

The man’s eyes shot open and looked up at her. He studied her for a long moment before shaking his head. He pushed her, gently, to the side so he could stand up. She stood back, keeping her arms out just in case he fell. He watched her in a leery manner, as if she were the reason he was dirty and smelt of sewer water.

“Who are you?” He stumbled away from her. “Where is Pepper!”

“Sir… Please… Calm down I just found you in the gutter.”

“What…”

“You were laying here…”

“What… Do you mean? Do you mean I just woke up here?”

“Uh yeah. I dunno if it was some crazy costume party or what? But great Tony Stark costume. Come on. I can make you some coffee and get you home safely.”

“Costume, why would someone make a costume of me?”

“Cause people love the Marvel movies?” She reached forward and touched his elbow gently. “Come on. My home is close.”

Cliona nudged him again before walking towards the front of the building. The man, curious what she was talking about, followed her. They made it to the front of the building and she pulled out her keys walking opening the door before allowing him into her house. Slowly he made his way in, waiting for her to come in as well.

“Is this yours? It’s a little small. A nice place though.” He is talking quickly. “I mean are you paying an arm and a leg for it?”

Cliona looked at him very concerned. He even spoke like Stark did when he was nervous, or “in trouble”. She had to admit that this is very concerning, either he was a great actor, or delusional. With a shrug of her shoulders she closed the door and walked into the kitchen to make some coffee.

“Actually, no. My grandma died and left it to me. She didn’t want me to have to worry about a place to stay.” She pulled out mugs and smiled. “She was sweet that way.”

It stunned him that she was being so nice to a stranger. He walked into the kitchen and looked at the cups. He pointed to the fridge asking if the milk were in there. She nodded her head before pulling down the sugar. There was a moment of silent communication between the two of them as they made the coffees. They took it rather similar, more sugar than coffee.

“So tell me your story.” Cliona sat at the breakfast bar she had there.

“Don’t you know? I’m Tony Stark. Last night I was in bed with Pepper, sleeping. Now here I am, drinking coffee with you.” He places the cup down. “I mean, not that I am complaining, but I would have preferred waking up to Pepper.”

Cliona watched him stunned silence. He actually seemed to believe in this. She took a long drink before nodding a bit as if trying to understand what he was saying. Placing the cup down she turned to him gesturing for silence.

“So you are telling me that you are really Tony Stark... “ She held up her fingers for him to be quiet still. “Do you completely understand why I am so skeptical?”

“Honestly, no, I mean I’m all over the news, I do stupid things constantly. Between Ultron and Vision.” He waved his hand a bit.

“Ultron was Ant Man.”

“No… What?”

“In the comics. And a cartoon special.”

Silence filled the air as they both appraised each other trying to understand why he was here. She picked up the coffee again draining the last of it.

“So you think…” He didn’t know what to say.

“Hang here.” She stood up before walking towards the living room again.

Carefully she pulled out a box hidden beneath her couch. She opened it pulling out a comic. She then closed the box and walked back to him. On the cover of the comic was the Avengers. Iron Man included. She slid it onto the counter in front of him before sitting back down. He picked it up gently gazing at it with a curious look.

“Well. There is a rational reasoning for this.” Tony spoke holding the comic before him.

“My rationality was… er… is that you went to a crazy party last night and drank a little too much. And really believed that you are Tony Stark.”

“That isn’t terrible reasoning. But there has to be a way to prove it.”

“The arc would tell me, but you had that removed in the third movie.” She paused before gasping slightly. “It would have left some kind of scar! Lift up your shirt.”

“Really? You’ve not even bought me dinner.”

Ignoring him, she reached forward and yanked his shirt up past his chest seeing a large circular scar. She touched it gently before pulling back. She was convinced now that he was Tony, that or very convincing cosplayer.

“So, Tony. I’m Cliona. What are you doing in my world?” She questioned him gently as she sat there.

“Who knows. I feel violated by the way. You just lifted my shirt as if you were allowed to!”

“Oh shush. How else was I going to figure it out?”

Cliona picked up her glass walking to the sink to rinse it out. She moved through the kitchen in a thoughtful way. She knew this was odd, and she could only think of a few people who could be behind this.

“Did you piss off Loki recently?”

“Sweetheart, I don’t think we are figuring this out from this side.”

Cliona gave him a look before shaking her head. “Well whatever, you are welcome to stay here until you’re ready to go home.”

“How kind of you. Do you have a second bedroom or are you sleeping on the couch?” Tony brought her the other mug.

“Thankfully I have a second bed. You’ll sleep there. But for now I have to work.” She nodded her head, walking towards her bedroom.

It took her only a moment to get ready, before she came running down the stairs. She was dressed in a skimpy outfit with an apron on. Running into the smaller bathroom she put on her make up and ran towards the door.

“Where do you work?”

“Somewhere sleazy.” Cliona answered flipping her red hair over her shoulder. “Bye for now.”


	2. Results of Anger And Sadly A Hiatus

So. I am sorry to say but I have to go on a weird sort of hiatus thing. I broke my pinkie punching a wall. I had surgery on it and it is healing nicely but I have to wear this weird brace thing that makes it extremely difficult to type. So I am working on these stories, but very slowly because I can only type for a short times and in a restricted manner. So I will update, but it will take a moment.


End file.
